


The Hairband Thief

by TheLightFury



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Banter, Domestic Fluff, Fluff, M/M, Mild Language, Sarcastic Harry Potter, Snarky Draco Malfoy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-30
Updated: 2019-11-30
Packaged: 2021-02-24 16:34:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 933
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21621034
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheLightFury/pseuds/TheLightFury
Summary: Harry had a hairband. He knew he did. So where the fuck was it? And WHY did it appear on his husband's wrist?!
Relationships: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter
Comments: 6
Kudos: 168





	The Hairband Thief

**Author's Note:**

> This might have been inspired by an exchange my fiancee and I had lol! I hope you enjoy it!

He was late. 

He was always late, and yet it was always surprising. And annoying.  _ So  _ annoying!  _ Especially  _ when things weren’t where he needed them to be, which, of course, was exactly the case right now. 

He’d managed to roll out of bed, yank his clothes on the right way round, and pull a brush through his hair in record time, but now, with one hand holding his notoriously untamable hair into something vaguely resembling a ponytail, everything had ground to a halt. All because an essential ingredient, and one he knew _ exactly  _ where he’d left yesterday was missing. 

His hairband. 

Precious seconds slipped away as he dashed around the bedroom, one hand gripping his hair, trying to keep it from tumbling into a tangled mess all over again, the other frantically searching for the tiny, electric blue circle of elastic that should have been  _ right there!  _ But no matter how much he searched, how much his arm ached, the band was nowhere to be found. And it was  _ pissing him off!  _

“DRACO!” he yelled, desperation and frustration heavy in his tone. 

“Hmm?” his husband appeared in the doorway, all crisp, clean edges and folds, wrapped in his dress shirts. Why the fucker hadn’t woken him up, god only knew. But, Harry would have to yell at him for that later, right now he didn’t have the time.

“Have you got a- you  _ BASTARD! _ ”

Draco jumped at the sudden change in his voice, brow furrowing about an inch as Harry stood frozen, eyes glued to his wrist.

“What?!”

“What do you mean, ‘What’?!” He scoffed, advancing towards the rat he called his husband. The sneaky, conniving little... “You  _ stole  _ my  _ hairband! _ ”

Draco merely straightened, shoulder’s squaring as defiance glinted in his eyes. Prissy prick.

“No I didn’t!”

“Yes you did, you git! I’ve spent the last 5 minutes holding my hair up, turning this bedroom upside down, and it’s there! On your bloody wrist!”

“Wh-This one?! This was on the floor, you pillock!”

“Yes, I know it was! It was supposed to be there! That’s where I left it!”

“Well  _ why  _ would you leave it on the floor, you idiot?! It doesn’t belong there! It’s messy, and dirty, an-”

“And it’s exactly where I needed it! It was next to my jeans for the day so I’d know where it was when I needed it! But of course, you came and stole it, fucking up my system!”

“ _ System?! _ How is leaving something  _ on the floor  _ a system, you blithering idiot?! No sane person would ever realise that was there for a reason! I merely picked it up because you’re constantly asking me if I have a hairband after you misplace yours! Most likely, might I add, because you leave them  _ ON THE SODDING FLOOR!  _ This time I merely thought I’d be prepared!”

“Oh, look at little-mister-perfect trying to be helpful! And by the way, I thought we established you weren’t sane when you  _ married me!  _ You only have yourself to blame!”

“For marrying a completely useless, half-wit of a philistine, who can barely dress himself in the mornings? I agree. I only have myself to blame. Seriously, look at the state of you! Your top is inside out! What was I thinking?!”

“Wha-?” he turned to the mirror quickly, only to find his tag sticking out comically, which of course, put that maddeningly smug expression on Draco’s face.  _ Bollocks.  _

“Well, that just demonstrates that  _ clearly  _ you were thinking more about my ass than anything else when you agreed to marry me! We both know all I have to do is squat a little and you drool!”

“I DO NOT!” Draco exclaimed, cheeks flushing a glorious rose-pink. “I do no such thing, Potter! I am refined, and dignified, and-”

“FULL OF SHIT, Malfoy-Potter!” Harry yelled back. “You are the most besotted, undignified,  _ DISASTER  _ of a gay I have EVER SEEN. It’s blindingly obvious to everyone! Even me! Even when it’s the middle of the night, pitch black, and I have my glasses off, and you know it! Now would you  _ please  _ stop mooning over me for one second, do something  _ actually useful  _ rather than fucking up my system, and GIVE ME BACK MY FUCKING HAIRBAND?!”

“GLADLY!” 

In the blink of an eye, the tiny ring of elastic had disappeared from Draco’s wrist, been stretched between his fingers, and was launched through the air directly at Harry’s head. He only just dodged it in time. 

“THANK YOU!” He exclaimed, snatching the thing as shoving it into his hair as quickly as possible as Draco, the child, flounced from the room.

“WANKER!” he yelled after him.

“PRICK!” Came the reply. 

Muttering under his breath he grabbed the rest of his things as fast as he could, righted his top, and ran down the stairs three at a time.

“I’ll be home by 6,” he called tugging his shoes on as he hopped on one foot. 

“Do try not to be late,” Draco swanned into the room with his lunch in hand, eyebrow raised as always. Harry didn’t even pause to glare. Grabbing his proffered lunch, he swiftly pressed a quick peck to his husband’s mouth and legged it out the door.

“I love you, you utter fucker!” Draco called after him, entirely unfazed by the muggles wandering by who would surely be scandalised by such language.

“I love you too, you complete fuckwad!” 

As he ran down the street, the fear of Hermione’s disapproving gaze and lecture spurring him on, Draco’s barely audible, but loving chuckle kept a warm glow in his chest the entire way. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed! Come and say hi on Tumblr! @april-TheLightFury115!


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